Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
