it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
