I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize