just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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