it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
