you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
