I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
