Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
