Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize