she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
