I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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