Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize