i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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