i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
