You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
