Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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