you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Shame - the story of my life.
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