im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
