You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
