Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
