absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
