i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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