white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
