i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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