I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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