Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
