there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
