I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
As shirtless as possible
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
