Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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