Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
