I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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