Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
