Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
