those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize