Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
