I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
