he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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