My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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