The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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