My nipple is on Facebook.
I have demons in me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize