so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You are a genius and a whore.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
