I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
