I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
