Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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