I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
