Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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