but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
