Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think your dad took our porno
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
