Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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