i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
