He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
