Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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