Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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