i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
