i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
