you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
