Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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