Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
