i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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