it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think I won the penis lottery.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
