Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
