omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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