Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's Friday. Sex?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
